ghosts are good company

i’m almost afraid to tell you about how things are going well and seeming to come together, because it seems like whenever i tell you that things fall apart again. but. i’m pending on a job, have a pretty-sure-thing place to live, and am going to probably buy a car sometime next week. yes, after a summer of not growing up, this is where we get to. more plans, but pretty secure plans.

i’m still feeling pretty young, so recently graduated and recently smitten. every time i tell myself i’m not going to get seriously involved with somebody… i do. i mean, i was single for a year this time, which is… better for me than the, what, month or two between my last big relationships? but i’m surprised that i’m letting myself fall this hard. i’m trying my best to trust, but also to be prepared for implosion at any point. i think we both are.

so yeah. staying in olympia for a while. this boy also dreams of running off to amsterdam, so maybe (when our powers combine!) we can make that happen at some point.

i need to head to sophie’s house to water her plant. i like when she’s gone and i can sleep at her house, but i like even more when she’s in town and i can spend time with her! i have this evil plan that by being her only friend left in town, i can be her newbestfriend. don’t tell her, though. i’m keeping it on the down-low. only telling the internet, nobody else.

oh right, i graduated.

and got those seahorses in the previous post put on my body forever.

i’m antsily waiting to hear if i got a job - things sound promising, but they are taking their sweet time contacting my references. for now i’m (scouring job boards but also) living as if that is what’s going to happen, so i’m planning on couch surfing around seattolympia this summer (much like last summer, except under much lovelier circumstances).

yesterday was oly pride, which was ok - small town pride beats big city pride any day, except for when there’s not enough to do at littlepride and you’ve said hi to all your friends five times and don’t know what to do next.

so i went to a party and there was awesome music and square dancing (my favorite exhousemate was so amazed that i danced!) and babies and amazing gluten free cake, but then there was a “please save me there are no trannies at jake’s” so i went to the bars and the non-square dancing for a while.

saturday was the big gay bout, which was beauuutiful (and vagely offensive, if i want to read it that way), although the defeat of the pegacorns by the ligers was pretty devastating.

friday was solstice, monday the mariners lost to florida, which is just depressing, sunday was father’s day, friday was graduation, thursday i spoke up for washpirg to the board of trustees, tuesday i saw eli clare at u.w. (awesome) and then the sex and the city movie (not awesome), before that i was so swamped with school that i can’t begin to try to remember what was when. and the cosa nostra donnas kicked grave danger’s butt and i was sad.

so, we’re kind of caught up, yeah?

in my morning ritual of peering at the damp earth that the seeds are planted in, i discovered… that glass is more insulating than rice milk boxes are. and also that perhaps i should turn on the space heater that my housemate lent me. because it actually snowed. in april. when it snowed in october a few years ago, that was understandable because it was the very end of october. this… i just can’t comprehend.

i’m really glad that i’m not living in a tent right now.

this planting project i officially declare to be a failure.

it’s strange, to have so many blogs in so many places. i’m also trying to get more involved with some online community that i love (i imagine that you all know who you are, but i would love to know who’s reading so i can make sure that i’m reciprocating!), because… they’re really nice kids.

that community loves to play picture your day, so i took my shot at it yesterday. you can see the album (with captions) heeeere. ♥

…now i have to start rushing for the bus again.

today i programed what may be the gayest python “programs” ever, so that’s awesome. also it was one teacher’s birthday and the other teacher brought cupcakes and golly it was cute.

also today! my grandfather brought me a real!mattress, which is so much warmer than the air mattress that it is now on top of. I Have Learned that air mattresses are colder if it’s cold in the room because they (duh!) hold cold air!! this real!mattress instead holds, uh, fluff and springs. and my body heat, i love that part.

also since the video that nobody commented on, i am borrowing a nice armchair and side table from my housemate, and there’s a chair in the study!closet. you all so care about the exact details of my room.

20% of school done, with a 100% record so far. not bad, not bad.

most boring post possible. perhaps. but! warm!

here is an exploration of my new room. when i say “slippers” i mean “mittens,” but everything else is true facts. i am excited about these newfangled video uploading capabilities that i have. the video is dedicated to jennicakes who has been insisting that something videographic happen.

i apologize for going into puppy!voice.

it started raining two seconds after i was done shooting. the plants are being grown in dirt that we dug up in digging a grave for Gigi The Best Cat Ever, who died yesterday. i cried a lot. i was on the phone with my mother when i was planting the tomato and broccoli seeds, i kept saying that i was “burying” them.

have a good tenth life, gigi.

i just got out of a hot bath and into dirty clothes. tonight my mother and i are staying at the serrano hotel, which has lovely deep bathtubs - with enough hot water! at my apartment, you have to turn the water to its hottest possible to get anything near a nice bath, and then pretty soon it’s cold.

when we started planning my move, she booked this room with two beds just in case i wanted to stay. it’s good she did, because everything i own is now stuffed into a cheerful ten-foot u-haul truck. a year ago i drove my car down to san diego to sell, and now i’m driving my whole life down there. from here i can see the building in which everything i own is parked, but i can’t see my truck. it worries me - but not as much as parking the truck in front of my tenderloin apartment does.

i should sleep, as i need to be up in five-and-a-half hours to clean (after three hours sleep last night, awesome), but i wanted to check in and tell you that, hurrah hurrah and hallelujah, there will be no ore packing updates from me here. for now.

oh! and my mother was a sweetheart, after me bitching all day, and took us out to dinner at the tonga room. she mentioned as we walked in that she expected birds to start talking - and it was indeed as awesome as hoped.

i hurt everywhere, folks. soon my move will be over, and the world will be happier.

hello.

i’ve packed thirty-something boxes thus far. i’m running out of time. half of those boxes that i’ve packed are books. whoops.

i went out to dinner tonight, at millennium, with the two people here to whom i really needed to say goodbye. i didn’t really, though - at the end it was just goodbye hugs, not Goodbye hugs. dinner was tasty and filling, but is now on the sidewalk. the good thing about living in the drunkard’s neighborhood is that nobody looks at you strangely as your anxiety disorder causes you to puke down the block. i still always feel bad for my companions, though. and today, my shoes and dress. ew?

it’s amazing how used one can get to puking. i’ve been doing it unintentionally for six years now. six years?!

eventually, maybe, i will be able to navigate the world without making it messier. for now, i’ll continue packing.

i’ve somehow managed to become nocturnal again. it’s interesting, rather like the world is hanging upside down. it’s not very good, though, because by the time i’m ready to be productive, it’s late and my mind tells me that i should be going to bed, so then i’m not productive in hopes that i’ll go to bed, but i don’t.

today i made gross scones out of strange mexican pancake mix (it was “tres estrellas” brand; i should have held out for cinco estrellas) and pumpkin. i ate one, but i still have two more sitting there and leering at me.

i also made quiche. i think that quiche is somewhat the perfect food, as it combines lots of different foods and also has protein! which is important and i don’t get enough of. however, my pie crust skills are currently lacking (they used to be good, but have declined for want of materials such as real butter). this is the second quiche i’ve made since getting home from seattle - i bought a dozen eggs and distributed them evenly. hurray quiche.

there are twelve days left to pack up my house, after which i will be moving to san diego. i’m getting panicky because i’m having a very hard time getting started. i’ve been acquiring boxes and i’m pretty sure that i have enough, and most of my stuff is actually already in boxes, but i’m still super-overwhelmed.

i started a savings account for my amsterdam trip. i’m getting 5.27% interest or something, so that’s nice - and also it’s preventing me from giving in and buying these amazingly attractive shoes that happen to be on sale and only available in my size. i love fluevogs and don’t currently have any particularly femme ones - just these boots and these in pink and black. i might still have them in white and black as well, but i wore those out pretty quickly my first few years of college. oh fluevog, you do hold claim to an extensive piece of my shoe-loyalty heart. when you’re on sale. and now you’re working on lovely vegan shoes as well? quite tidy.

that was an extensive shoe-related tangent. i have a lot of shoes. this is a problem that comes with being deeply invested in many gender presentations and having an obsession with shoes. perhaps if i picked just one gender presentation, i would have just as many shoes pertaining to that one as i do now. of course, i could just have more (of course we would, we’d just eat more).

i’ve recently come to adore this comic. usually when online comics release books i manage to convince myself that their online presence will be enough for me, but here… a bit of me aches to hold suspenders and glasses tangibly in my hands. i’m a little bit too much like suspenders. seriously. the author has an art show in san diego that’ll still be running for two or three days that i’m there. maybe i can go.

i have to decide if i want to, on saturday, go to a blythe doll meetup in san jose or to a flashmob dance party at the ferry building or to watch clueless at cubbie’s house. i’ll probably end up at the latter, because (can you have latter if there’s more than two items? if not, final) it’s people i know, but it’s so so weird trying to be his friend.

recap since last entry (if just because that’d be a sad note to end on): i did not go to ground kontrol, instead i went to a store called collage (i think), where i purchased things to make a thank you card for the folks’ at whose house i spent the night. i did go to see the bishop allen show, and it was delightful. i am still obsessed with roller derby, and the san diego derby dolls have their bouts a mile and a half from where i’ll be living. hurray!

i hope you all are doing well. recommend me good podcasts, if you want to.

i’m sitting in a coffeeshop in portland, typing on my macbook. it’s a stereotype i don’t usually fit, but i’ve got four hours still until my train leaves. i should go soon and catch my bus downtown - i might go to ground kontrol and play video games for the rest of the wait, but they don’t open until noon (and that’s just theoretical).

i’ve only been here for a bit - twenty hours in portland, almost as long as my next train ride - but it’s been nice, i was able to visit with a friend and find a place to sleep, which is about all one can ask. next stop sacramento, for even less time than portland, and then i’ll be back in san francisco… at least for a bit.

first thing on the agenda in san francisco is to go see bishop allen when they play live there. i haven’t bought a ticket, but i don’t thiiink it will sell out… a concert alone is going to be weird.

anyhow, those are the travel things. in seattle last week i went to see a rat city rollergirls bout, which made me wish that i had seen the film about them, and also that i could be in seattle for the championships. there’s a special on derby from kbtc up on youtube here, which has just a basic intro to what derby is and stuff. other than how i will describe it, which mostly includes the word “awesome.”

so, yes, now it is later and i should really leave this coffehouse, because my joints are feeling like they would like to moooove.