ghosts are good company

i went to bed thinking about working on this
gathered scarf, and proceeded to have a dream where i was going to go on a road trip (from the pacific northwest to san diego, i think) and i wanted to bring that project along to start. i wonder how to interpret that one, considering the above and that i’ve been borrowing my grandparents’ car this past week and that i’ve been trying to figure out how to get to portland in a couple of weeks.

it’ll be, if i make it out there, my first trip to the zine symposium without cubbie - but it’ll also be a trip where i know more people than ever. so it seems like a positive thing to do, and like there are more people from olympia going this year. i think i’m feeling like i really should do something awesome because typically i would be at homoagogo right now, but i’ve been travel-hungry for the past while anyway, as i mentioned.

last weekend (not yesterday!) a friend and i stayed in a (western) yurt at grayland beach state park. it was a really wonderful trip that made our overnight stay seem longer than it was, which i think is the mark of a successful retreat. we saw a pinniped of some sort on the shore… i’m pretty sure he was munching on seaweed, although that might have been in my imagination. also we flew a kite! and toured the gray’s harbor lighthouse.

most importantly on the trip, we learned that we can take the bus there from olympia! having acquired bus schedules for the region, i am excited about the potential for cheap minivacations by bus.

i’ve been trying to start skating again - i’ve been pretty wheel-shy since i fractured my tailbone, mostly because my sense of balance is missing. i went out the other day, though, and managed to calm down after a little while (my knees, they stopped shaking!!) and even fell properly (while falling managed to twist so that i landed on my fleshy hip, rather than my not-fleshy tailbone). i’m hopeful that the skatey trend will continue, but still laugh at the thought of ever being able to even take part in the tiniest part of derby.

i’m still trying to figure out some broad-based what-do-i-want-to-do-where-do-i-want-to-go questions. all of my ideas at this point seem more romanticized than realistic - i need to find a way to balance those aspects and find a life that can sustain me. ideas?

CIMG4072

Originally uploaded by geoffy

i found my missing login information! that’s always a good thing.

i’ve been wandering around the puget sound region lately, sleeping on couches for the last month. currently i’m in des moines, at the kindness of my grandparents. their house is one of my favorite places, it has such a beautiful view of the water - i just wish that it were reasonably public transportationable.

the region is making me antsy, and i’m hoping that opportunities elsewhere pan out soon. for now i’ve been making mini-trips to pretend that i’m going somewhere; last weekend a friend and i explored bainbridge island. it was very very warm.

also last weekend i met up with some of my (now) favorite strangers from the internet, in BALLARD of all places. i got to go to archie mcpheeee where i found a fantastic green dinosaur finger puppet (see photo!) and spent too much money.

ALSO last weekend, the derby liberation front beat the throttle rockets, which was delightful but also sad as it was mommacherry’s last bout with the team. the team, mascots and all, did their introductions in aprons in homage to mommacherry, which amused me since i was wearing an apron that day anyway.

this weekend has, unsurprisingly, been calmer.

oh right, i graduated.

and got those seahorses in the previous post put on my body forever.

i’m antsily waiting to hear if i got a job - things sound promising, but they are taking their sweet time contacting my references. for now i’m (scouring job boards but also) living as if that is what’s going to happen, so i’m planning on couch surfing around seattolympia this summer (much like last summer, except under much lovelier circumstances).

yesterday was oly pride, which was ok - small town pride beats big city pride any day, except for when there’s not enough to do at littlepride and you’ve said hi to all your friends five times and don’t know what to do next.

so i went to a party and there was awesome music and square dancing (my favorite exhousemate was so amazed that i danced!) and babies and amazing gluten free cake, but then there was a “please save me there are no trannies at jake’s” so i went to the bars and the non-square dancing for a while.

saturday was the big gay bout, which was beauuutiful (and vagely offensive, if i want to read it that way), although the defeat of the pegacorns by the ligers was pretty devastating.

friday was solstice, monday the mariners lost to florida, which is just depressing, sunday was father’s day, friday was graduation, thursday i spoke up for washpirg to the board of trustees, tuesday i saw eli clare at u.w. (awesome) and then the sex and the city movie (not awesome), before that i was so swamped with school that i can’t begin to try to remember what was when. and the cosa nostra donnas kicked grave danger’s butt and i was sad.

so, we’re kind of caught up, yeah?

unsurprisingly, i have a paper to write - thus the post? but i’ve been a good kid lately. lots and lots and lots of school, because - i’m sure i’ve told you but just in case i haven’t - i’m graduating in three weeks. until then, so much work.*

so, life has been overwhelmingly busy, but pretty damn sweet. grave danger is playing the oly rollers tomorrow, my dad and stepmother and my favorite jaci are coming to the bout! it will be delightful to see all of them.

i wish that my great-grandmother wasn’t in the hospital - it puts quite a damper on the otherwise good. still, she is a strong one and i have faith that she’ll pull through again.

guess what’s winning the paper vs. sleep debate.

ah, well. goodnight, or good-whatever-it-is, to you. ♥

ohp.s.! i rasturbated my dino icon and it’s now on the wall, thirty sheets of paper, and it’s pretty grrreat.

*i just realized that this first paragraph is a summary of my last post. sorry.

oh oh oh oh oh

yesterday’s cosa nostra donnas vs. derby liberation front bout was… wow. my phone *and* camera died right before, so my photodocumentation is limited, but the number of enthusiastic squeaks i could make is very high. i had to borrow a phone to call and enthuse in jaci’s general direction.

i think i like skateland better than skateworld - the ambiance is much nicer… but we weren’t able to get rinkside seats, so it was hard for me to see well enough to keep score and stuff very well… also the benches we were on hurt my butt… so i worked very heard on my cheering, first sitting on my knees and then standing on the benches.

dlf took the lead early and kept in throughout the first half. this made me very happy. the game was pretty clean, considering… there was an instance where i think an oly roller was almost leap-frogging one of the dlf, but other than that i couldn’t see anything too overwhelming (did i mention that i’m nearsighted?).

the halftime show was great, although the seattle derby brats pretty much whomped the kitsap derby brats… it was my first time seing jr. derby and they certainly did it good. “she just went under the blocker’s legs! is that even allowed?” you don’t see that much… ever… in old person derby!”

oh my goodness the second half. oly came back fierce, ready to take the bout home. they were slowly gaining back points until there were just a few minutes left and olympia was finally up by… a lot. i had thought they had it sewn shut as they went into the last jam, but then - oh then - the seattle jammer (i’m pretty sure it was burnett down?) grand slammed… and then some. she picked the lead back up brought it home for my sweet revolutionaries, laving the mob joint in cinders with a final score of 99-97. hot.

also there was cake.

i’ve been hesitant to post about this here since the last birthday i planned here went not so well, but… am going to anyway!!

this saturday the oly rollers‘ cosa nostra donnas are facing off against the rat city rollergirls‘ derby liberation front (aka my favorite team ever). it will be a challenging thing, me figuring out who i’m going to cheer for, but it will also be an awesome bout. i’m inviting everyone i run into to join me there, with the suggestion that they buy tickets online for $12 than risking it selling out and/or paying $17 at the door.

so! come! afterward there will probably be dinering, if anyone wants to just do that part… it should be a wonderful time at the bout, though!

tho bout was crazy. mad. wonderful. i got to work the door, organizing lines and making people sign waivers… it’s an overwhelming job. i spent the afternoon running up and down lines and bellowing news - we were sold out, we might be able to let a few more people it, we were really truly officially sold out. it was very strange to have interacted with nearly everyone by the time i sat down.

this week is calmer. no more flower job, less social plans. i’m waiting for my outdoor wheels to show up so that i can skate without paying the rink. i asked my grandmother if she wanted to come to skate lessons tonight, but… she didn’t.

my scarf is something like four feet long now, so that’s amazing to look at - knitting is really a place where you can keep an eye on your progress, where there is instant validation, if you will.

i’ve been planning my next few months, year or so, and i’m hopeful. i’m great at plans, and every so often i can make them pan out. this feels like one of those times - trans leadership summit is coming up, then evergreen, then summer. amsterdam. something. i’ve been eying a bunac visa for after amsterdam, i want to take a look at british housing/employment stuff and see if i could actually make it happen.

this is the part where i wiggle with potential.

i have a job! it is seasonal and low-paying and ultimately would be unexciting except that 1) it is a job and 2) they offered it to me less than two hours after my interview. which made me feel shiny.

i also have maybe a plan! i’m hoping to do evergreen in the spring (see boat class, below), hopefully walk at graduation, and then do a different, cheaper, nice, amsterdam sexuality program in the summer. i like having plans.

in long-term plans, a friend of mine mentioned dreaming of moving to vermont, and i glomped onto it. spring? next year? i’ll have graduated, need a place to go to. vermont? two amazing people to live with? uh, sounds great thanks.

derby starts again soon, with a double header exhibition bout on the 23rd. … and my work schedule means no skating class for me. damn, must figure that out.

anyhow, job excitement is the moral of this post!

here is a story of conjunction.

first, to set things not-so-straight, i grew up with a big love for drew barrymore.

secondly, i’ve been meaning to post about juno since we saw a screening of it just after buttoning went down (i guess this part was foreshadowed by my shirt in the last entry). i was all about juno mostly because kimya dawson is all over the movie and she’s my favorite musicmaker and hopemonger, but i also enjoyed ellen page in it - although i think she had more character in hard candy and more wonderness in wilby wonderful - juno just seemed a little contrived. anyway. yay ellen page is the moral of this paragraph.

thirdly, roller derby. of course.

so whip it? i think so. there’ve been murmurs about this movie for a while, but now it seems like all parties are go and shooting will happen in texas this summer. banked track. pretty tantalizing.

i decided to backpedal - um, skate backward - with my skating practice. i’ve been going to boot camp with the san diego derby dolls off and on, but having trouble there because i’m Just Not Good Enough. so i decided (on the recommendation of a skater who used to live in s.d. but has recently moved down from san francisco…) to try out the Adult Skating Lessons at skateworld. they’re shorter, cheaper, and more geared to people my level - and also a totally different kind of workout! we were doing a “scissor” thing around the rink, where you use your legs to move your feet out and in without lifting them up? and ow, my thighs. i don’t get this much of a thigh workout just striding.

so that hurts. but also, i managed to fall down and kick myself pretty hard in the inner-thigh. no wonder derby’s hardcore, if i can injure myself this much just on my own. i haven’t worn my skatetown shirt to the rink yet (it was a “paulie bleeker is totally boss” day, so orange - but different orange), but i hope to soon.

and i did actually skate backward today! woo!

there’s been discussion lately about “yo” as an organically developing gender neutral pronoun, but none of the discussion that i’ve seen really addresses race or class issues, which i find… fascinating… especially considering the demographics of the communities contriving other gender neutral pronouns so far.

(note my not addressing it either? i’m just bringing it up for people to think about what connotations “yo” has in their minds.)

i’m still an epicene “they,” myself, and damn anyone who tries to tell me that it’s grammatically incorrect. they seem like probably the people who would make sad faces at me if i took “it” instead, and if they want to find something 1) grammatically correct 2) not dehumanizing 3) that flows well in language, i welcome them to go ahead - and tell me when they’ve found it.