our house is officially a house! there is no furnace yet, but we are legally allowed to go inside. tomorrow i’m going to meet with the third furnace bidder, and we’re going to paint the kitchen. we just ordered cabinets and kitchen appliances from ikea. we’re selling the house, we’ve decided. at a loss, obviously.

that’ll take a while. for now, we’re asking for your support. you can jump to the ask if you don’t want to read about our personal details.

here’s the reality of our current situation:

  • in january of last year my partner started getting sick. we didn’t realize it was a big deal, at first, but they were having tingling and dizziness that could have told us they were neuro issues.
  • in february, i left my job. i had been just-holding-on for more than a year, and finally had to leave for my mental health.
  • in april or may my partner started having severe neurological issues 24/7, and had to leave their job.
  • in july we started fostering a kitten, for my mental health – to give me something to invest energy and caring into.
  • in august, the kitten died.
  • at some point late in the summer, my partner’s issues tapered down a little; they now only have visible symptoms 3 days a week or so.
  • in october we had the county come check the house for meth, at the recommendation of my partner’s doctor. we are incredibly grateful for medicaid expansion; without free health care our finances would be a lot more dire.

in march, a person moved into my (new) apartment who made it unsafe for me to live there. i moved to my grandparents’ house temporarily. my partner moved to their parents’ house across the state. we’re still in these tenuous situations.

my mother’s family has been really supportive. they’ve helped us with a lot of expenses on the house, and they have been helping pay the mortgage for the past few months… but they have their own lives to live (and fund). my partner’s family is dealing with a lot of medical challenges and is mostly providing a solid foundation for them.

i just did our taxes, and we made $13,800 of taxable income last year. we sold a car (since my partner couldn’t drive it anymore anyway). we lost our jobs (which had once been safe, fulfilling opportunities). we lost almost all of our possessions. we weren’t eligible for unemployment because of disability, and we’ve been dragged under by the disability system (i’ve been denied twice, we’re waiting on my partner’s inevitable denial). we’re grateful to have food stamps and insurance, so grateful.

my partner is back in the world of work (when they are physically able to be there), subbing and tutoring math. i’ve been trying to find work i can do from “home,” but there aren’t a lot of options that i’ve found so far. i’m spending a lot of time trying to get involved in my local community, trying to heal some of my trauma by engaging, which hopefully will allow me to imagine “work” without panic.

our personal expenses aren’t a lot. we’ve lived below the poverty line before and have gotten pretty good at not spending money, but we’ve also drained our savings/line-of-credit. i have $20.48 in my bank account, and no income coming in. i have half a tank of gas, commitments and doctors to get to, a (wonderful, sanity-supporting) cat to feed, and bills (mortgage, w/s/g for an empty house, bills for an apartment it’s not safe for us to live in, two phones, domain hosting for this here internet, debt payments, things i’m not remembering because my partner deals with them) are going to happen again at the end of the month. which is soon, always soon. it’s also my birthday at the end of the month and my partner is hoping to travel across the state and back so we can be together.



so, the ask:

is there work i can do for you? my skills are in the creative realms, mostly. i make custom one-inch buttons, and i just got parts to do magnets! i’m an advanced knitter (i charge actual cost for yarn/pattern and then $10/hour for labor; here are some examples of projects i’ve done over the years), i do paper craft (stamps, decoration, collage, whatever) and most other artsy things (if you have an idea i can’t do it, i can connect you to someone who can). i am not a good photographer, which makes marketing my skills harder. i have experience in web design and wordpress setup (see: this blog), graphic design (primarily for print – posters/invitations), and am good at walking people through new technological processes. i do proofreading and manuscript consulting, i have a b.a. in community education and a passion for teaching people about why they should be nice to other people.

i would love to talk to you about any on-going or short-term projects you might need help with. i can put you in touch with references who can talk about my skills or what it’s like to work with me.

it’s tricky because we’re trying to be fairly anonymous with this blog, but this ask isn’t anonymous. it’s incredibly personal, obviously. so, comment if you have ideas/want to take part, or email hifriendyouarefabulous@gmail.com (email created as part of this mini project that never got off the ground). also email if you want information on math or study-skills tutoring from my brilliant partner, or the address for my amazon wish list.

speaking of that email address… it’s also the address you can use if you just want to donate money through paypal. no awkward conversations, just incredibly appreciated support and a thank you card/mini-project, if you leave us your address. if you tell paypal it’s a “gift,” fees are reduced. if you have my regular email address, that one works fine too.

anything you can do is immensely appreciated. we’ve been trying so hard to not have to ask for help, but we’ve hit a wall where that’s what is necessary at this point. we really appreciate all of the community support we’ve received so far; we wouldn’t have made it this far without you all.

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4 comments on “help / real talk

  • Hey puck, random idea re work from home…heard of someone recently working from home helping a realtor keep track of their craigslist posts (all the updating and reporting that gets so tedious), might not hurt contacting some and seeing if they ever need that kind of help. Also, I’d love to order some magnets with various encouraging words to have in my office for people to borrow or have as parting gifts/tokens with words like (breathe, dance, be here now, be present, peace, celebrate, be thankful, ect…I’m sure you can come up with even better ones!) … How about twenty five? Email me your address and I’ll send you a check 🙂

  • You have done so much to support other folks in this thin, wide, dispersed ‘community’ – I am/we are honored to get a chance to support you. Thank you for risking the vulnerability of asking for necessary help. I hope this gets the return y’all deserve and will boost it as much as I’m able. Much love.

  • I would love to hire partner to tutor math for Sticky One, and can certainly take photos for you to set up a pkace to sell crafts, also lets make talks about maybe some catfood or other thing supplememts. Also many hearts and good vibes sent your way.

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